Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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