i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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