Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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