ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize