Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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