I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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