Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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