dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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