just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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