Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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