Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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