i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize