I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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