Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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