break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
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So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
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I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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