if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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