GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
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I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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