I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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