just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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