So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
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I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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