I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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