He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize