So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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