Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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