I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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