i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize