I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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