i was born a porn star she said
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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