i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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