Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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