She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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