i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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