Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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