do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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