Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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