oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
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he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
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We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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