He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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