What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize