dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
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I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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