You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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