I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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