Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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