So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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