My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize