He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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