I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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