marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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