hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Drake has all the answers
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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