Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I deserve this hangover.
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