Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize